NG - when I get an email from him I actually have no response now until I see the subject line. If it relates to the house I get a rush of anxiety. I guess I'd been holding onto an expectation that he'd change his mind before we sold. Wrong! If it's not related to the house/D, I actually get annoyed because it's usually some kind of article that he'd send me acting like we're friends.
I picked up the "Dance of Anger" book and just started the first chapter but it looks like it's going to be another helpful one for me. I feel like I have really moved beyond M books into self books. That's good for me.
I realized today that the house is becoming kind of a metaphor for my old M. STBX wants to sell it as quickly as possible and be done with it, without any regard to putting in a little work to make it better before we let go of it. He scheduled a few realtor appointments and is treating it more as, we have 3 opinions, what more do you want? I want someone who will point out everything that we can do to get the maximum out of this without claiming that only 2 things need to be done to list it for X with a goal to sell it for Y, which is substantially less than X. I'm not a realtor, but I'm also not an idiot, and this guy sounds like an idiot for not having pointed out, e.g., the holes in the bathroom floor tile as something that should be addressed before we list it.
I believe that my 180 of not taking the reigns on this has to end for now because I will not roll over and let this house go without trying to get the most for it that we can. STBX seems fine with selling it and walking away with $0 cash in hand. That doesn't work for me and I know it's underselling what the house can be. So I'm going to have to take charge and start pointing out things that need to be done otherwise I'm not going to be happy with myself to know that I got the most out of it that I could.
Rar.
I've been thinking more about what I want to do with my future. The options are kind of daunting! I wasn't really the type to just pick up and move somewhere without knowing anyone. Am I now? I don't know. But I'm thinking about it.
