This is not looking good! (Long post...)

[jks]

I don't think you necessarily need to tell her about Canada. I'm sure sooner or later she'll know that you went. Is it really going to make a difference if she knows? Just live for you right now.

Do not use ultimatums unless you're ready to take on the consequences. You have to realize that even though it seems like forever that you've been apart from your wife, I'm afraid there is still a long road ahead. I am almost a year into my sitch and things are slowly starting to turn around. But even still have not turned around completely.

I don't talk to my H unless absolutely necessary regarding the kids or other business matters. And at this point, I don't have a feeling of NEEDING to. I was very much where you are... where all you want is to talk to them, to tell them about how you're feeling and what's going on in your life.

These feelings will pass. You will feel it less and less as time goes on. But it doesn't necessarily mean that you're done... it just means that you're living your life for you now. Have you been reading any other threads on this board of people that are further along than you in their sitch's? It can be some of the greatest inspiration ever.

Respect will be given to you when you fully start to respect yourself and find happiness from within. It's a hard thing to grasp but when you get it, you'll feel like a new man... I promise!