Things Could Be Going Better

[zig]

hey sweet girl - you're doing way way better than you thought you were - really.

we get so caught up in HOW we are DB'ing and whether we are saying the right things or not, that we can't see when the positives are happening.

if you haven't yet - make a list of these tiny little positive interactions that happen with your h.

but also make a list of the do's and don'ts for yourself - and at the top of it put: DON'T GET DISCOURAGED.

on your list give yourself warnings - simple ones like - not a good idea to do this (something where you saw your h withdraw when you did or said something)

then don't forget to read the list everyday.

right now - we have to focus on those tiny tiny little things - and completely take our minds off the end goal, okay. it's hard to start doing but once you do , it will get easier

look at it this way: remember 25's words about looking back and regretting how much time she wasted?

so would you rather waste your trip thinking about your h and focusing on him NOT being there, or would you rather spend your trip having fun and doing all these wonderful things, so you when you tell him about it you will be bubbly, full of fun and good experiences - and that energy will emanate from you.

but don't have fun just fro that - have fun fro yourself - but then you have material to use towards your goals.

the whole car episode and things he said - you weren't expecting that were you?

a thought i just had - we talk so much about expectations here - don't have them towards our spouses. but we completely forget to talk about expectations for ourselves. I think we should focus on those a lot more. Here are some i have started to say to myself:

I expect to be happy
I expect to enjoy myself right now
I expect that things will work out well
I expect myself to make this shift away from h towards myself


try some of these during this trip - every time you are about to mope about him not being there - recite it like a mantra - while you do a cartwheel, leap onto a lamp post and hang upside down in the street from a shop awning eating a croissant and yelling I expect to have fun right now no matter what!!

oh and plan a picnic all for yourself in that forest behind the Louvre - go walk deep in there - it's the most serene place - and have that picnic outside the " castle " that your h is trapped in. don't forget to face your back to it (grin)

so be determined to have a great time, and come here so we can hold your hand through it

(((( ))))
zig