I get that. My question is why come here? There are only 2 options for you. 1) Work on making the marriage happier for you (and hopefully her) OR 2) NOT [b]
So I need to do one of those things instead of coming here? I guess I was under the false impression that I could multitask. You know, like chew gum and walk at the same time. ;-)
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But whenever you are asked THAT question - your reply is something along the lines...
If every time I'm asked the question, should I come up with a different answer? Or not answer it because I know some readers, like you, already know the answer? ;-)
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But here you are, on DB's site again, talking about how hideously low your w's sex drive is.
Well, consider that this is one of my better options! ;-)
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And I don't know what to tell you - b/c this is a solution based site. We want solutions, not commiseration, at least not beyond a certain point.
Oh, OK, I guess you're telling me I need to stop posting here. Would it be OK if I keep reading the site without posting? Would that bother anybody?
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What can we SAY to solve your problem when you say it is NOT solvable?
I didn't say it wasn't solvable. Everything I've tried so far hasn't had much effect. Are you saying you only want people posting here who've solved their problem? Hey, I know I'm being difficult. ;-)
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Who gave me sex "freely"? My wife, when we first met.
when you FIRST MET or first married? IF it's in marriage, that's not quite the same. Truly, No offense intended.
I'd say both before and just after we got married. The wedding was an event in the middle of it all. We weren't the American traditional Republican Christian no-sex before marriage types. So the wedding itself was not this big game changer some people expect it to be. Not quite sure why you seem to imply it's even relevant. I have some friends who are as good as married, but never married.
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Assuming you are right in all your predictions about your wife's choices then Daddy has a point. She is NOT willing to put your needs ahead of, or even with, yours. No one here thinks that's okay.
What will you do about that?
Well, given your premise, the only thing I can do is have sex with another woman, or stay celibate.
One thing that makes the hill steeper for me is that I find it difficult to contemplate accepting a solution where the spouse has sex only out of a sense of duty. Or is that unrealistic? Am I bitterly clinging to a youthfully idealistic notion that two people should mutually enjoy sex? On the one hand, I hear constantly in the media and advice columns that women need their orgasms, which they presumably enjoy. And then on sites like these, I'm led to believe that one should be happy with a woman who only does it out of a sense of duty and love, which presumably involves no orgasms for her at all -- more like "let's get this over with so I can get back to whatever I was doing before". So which is it?
