So, I wasn't around because I had to go out of town for work and stayed over and came back today.
About midway through the day running from meeting to meeting, I took a few minutes to think (while washing my hands haha) and I thought the world, my world, is SO big. I felt confident, professional, in control, I don't know. It was good to remember that feeling because later relaxing with a drink I texted H something funny and how I'd had a really great day away and a not about the location. He never replied. I had expectations that he would reply. I wasn't expecting anything else. I was a bit surprised that he didn't.
I *almost* looked at his FB page to see of he was off somewhere with GF and that's why he didn't reply. And literally while the page was loading I shut it down and haven't looked! Yay me!
Looking at it, and not over analysing a text message that got no response....I will say that we had a really great time on Thursday night, and on Friday I texted him with a bit about my life. I think that was classic him getting closer and me overstepping. Granted its a lot lot better than it used to be but all the same it might scared the squirrel
So it was good to have had that feeling earlier in the day because later when I was upset about him not replying I thought hang on remember how you felt earlier? Remember where you are and why you're here! This trip is something that you have been looking forward to and it's exceeding your expectations. Why are you letting his response to you dictate your feelings.
So I'm still a bit mixed mentally I have a bit of a hold on it all but emotionally I do feel slightly down (but that could be a hangover)
I find myself being more jealous of him having a relationship that him not being with me. I want to be in a relationship, to have someone to share my day with, who looks at me with attraction in their eyes, who holds my hand, laughs with me, etc. I am missing that right now.
