Golfgirl - not having outbreaks does NOT mean you are not infectious. Asymptomatic shedding of the virus by infected persons between outbreaks is actually the most common mode of transmission. The risk of transmission from female to male is about 4% per year - small but not negligible. In a long-term relationship, there would be a real risk of acquiring the virus eventually. (Transmission from a male to a female is higher, about twice that rate.)
On the other hand - the natural course for most people is a few outbreaks the first year, with gradually decreasing frequency over time. Many people eventually go years between outbreaks. The cases you hear about with frequent painful outbreaks are the unlucky ones, not the average cases.
