Thanks, Accuray. I've always appreciated your insight! Plus, you have a very concise way of putting things. I'm sure I'll be around occasionally. A lot of people's sitch's have touched me and I'd like to keep up with them, yours being one of them. Plus, I think I've been able to throw in a valuable nugget occasionally, once in a while anyway. I'll probably keep my venting to my BFF, though. Who knows...
I get that no one would be inclined to tell me it's ok to leave. I wasn't looking for that anyway. It is somewhat comforting to know that I have tried most everything suggested, multiple times, the most significant being letting H know how I feel before just dropping a bomb and running. I'm still left with the fact that he is a grown man, he can make his own informed decision, and that I don't have a right or obligation to demand something different, including regarding how he treats me. I accept that. Likewise, he needs to accept that I'm a grown woman, I can make my own informed decision, and that he doesn't have a right or obligation to demand something different, including my staying M'd to him.
My H and I going our separate ways doesn't have to be painful or bitter or angry. It's the choice we're making, and a choice we've been making for many years already. We didn't get here overnight. But no one gets to choose to have their cake and eat it, too.
