Accuray, thank you for the feedback regarding complaining. I read your response a couple times, so hopefully it will sink in. I am really trying hard to implement a lot of the great feedback I am receiving on this forum.

D had oral surgery the other day. D previously had this type of procedure and my W hates going to these appointments because it’s tough for her to see our D in pain. I stepped up and offered to take D to the appointment, I think W really liked that I took care of it.
I never took D to her dentist appointments in the past. I had to take time off work but it was much needed and important to take care of. W thanked me and appreciated it. I guess you could call it a 180.

I had the kids on the 4th of July and we had a lot of fun however it was the first time in 14 years that I wasn’t with W. My W left me a voicemail after the 4th saying how hard it was without her family, (meaning us). I feel I made the mistake by not addressing or validating her feelings that she expressed in the voicemail.

From reading some other posts I’ve came to the conclusion that it’s quite common to over analyze everything our WAS says. I think a lot of us are looking for signs even though we aren’t supposed to believe a lot of their comments or actions.

Today she has the kids back and she just sent me an email saying “The 4th of July was really hard on me... missing my family! I have a feeling our birthdays are going to be harder”

The reason W mentioned our birthday is because her and I share the same birthday. I then left her a voicemail regarding some logistics for our kids. I also wanted to address her comments. So I said, “I understand that it’s hard, I agree. I feel the same way, I also miss our family. It makes sense that you feel this way”.

How should I view these comments? The fact that I ignored it the first time and she brought it up again makes me think that she really wants to see if I am feeling the same way. I JUST DON’T KNOW if it was good for me to say “I feel the same way and I also miss our family”. That might have been a slip up? I wouldn’t have made those comments without her initiating the topic. I am kinda kicking myself. I am wondering if it could’ve come off like I wasn’t strong. What do you think? Do you think I said the wrong thing? Did I use my words in an incorrect fashion?

Finally, I am going flying with a friend tomorrow. It will be a couple hour flight in a tiny Cessna 172. I love flying, it should be a blast!

Me(M):37
W:42
Together: 14 Married: 11
D: 4 S:8
W wanted separation 5/5/12
Stopped living together 5/5/12
Currently in DB stage

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”.
Thomas Jefferson