XYZ here again...

[XYZ]

Thanks, Accuray...

My kids are almost 7 and 4 1/2 now...

I love them dearly, but you're right, they just eat up our time and energy. W and I have talked about that many times. Her stand is "what do you want us to do? Is sex more important than our kids". My answer is of course not, but yes, sorta. Ha. It doesn't even make sense when I write it. Is sex more important that the kids? No, certainly not in an acute sense. Is it important that we have a good marriage for the kids? Absolutely. Is a healthy sex life a requirement for a good marriage? For me, yes.

I've read in several places that marital satisfaction is at it's lowest in the years between the second kids birth and them starting school. I'm 13 months away from that date and that's part of what causes me so much angst. Are things about to get better?

W and I used to have a great sex life. She claims even now that she's "the whole package". She says "she does anything" (she doesn't, but was still very fun in that department). Well, that could be true again, but first we have to have time and energy alone together and it's just not a priority for her...

Other issues: I was pressuring her, I get that. I brought it up a lot, I get that too. Part of my let's see how July, August, and September go is that I'm not saying one single word about it. Not one. I don't ask. I don't complain. I don't whine. Nothing. And so far, while no sex, we have gotten along very well. There is no tension in the house, we're interacting great. It really feels like a ton of stress is just gone. I hope she feels it too.

At the same time, I feel kinda like a WAS. I nagged and got disregarded until I stopped nagging. Just like the LBS, is she in the zone where everything must be great because I stopped complaining? I know that I was there once... At the end of 3 months, will it be like a bomb got dropped on HER?

So, I'll stick by my plan. Over the next 90 days either the absence of tension will help her come around or it won't. If it doesn't, then I just don't know what I'll do then....

X