Thank you, JCJ. I was panicking, I felt so guilty.
What I'd like to change. I don't want to always feel like I need to be right. I want to feel like I can give my husband space and he will come back when he is done with having space. I don't want him to feel bad for wanting to spend time doing other things. I don't want to always feel like I'm waiting for him to talk to me or contact me or make it obvious that he is thinking about me.
What am I doing that's working. I don't know. I'm trying to just be calm and accepting, but I still get annoyed over stuff. Just yesterday, he asked me, "what are you planning on doing about laundry?" We'd already discussed this ten times, and he said I could go back to the old apartment to use his washing machine. I said, "I guess I'll just find a laundromat?" and he said ok. And I got really upset, because he already said I could use his washing machine, and I already said that I wanted to. So I said, like, "I guess you changed your mind!?!" and he got angry. But we had already discussed it, so I don't know why he had to bring it up again.
Meanwhile, we are talking online every day and I guess everything is fine and we're not really fighting in general. Everything is just so business-like. I don't know how to change the dynamic of our conversations, but I feel like NOTHING has changed. The one thing that I am making sure I do is to say thank you for everything that he does and tell him how much I appreciate things.
I just can't do what Chuck said to about laughing and smiling. It just isn't natural and doesn't seem to fit in with the dynamic we have right now. It's all business, all the time. I try to laugh when it's appropriate, but there has just not been a good time to do it.
