Sounds like she has emotionally abused you for your whole marriage. I would also read up on narcissist personality disorder as well. I would stress to keep her out of your life all together unless she seeks help and maintains it. That would be a strong boundary for you to keep.
You are going to have to unlearn being controlled. May it be by anger , sex , insults , and the death by a thousand knife cuts.
You need to learn this. For you have been trained to take it.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
