I would suggest you post on newcomers. There's more traffic there.
I truly understand your frustration. Take a lot of deep breaths. That's the first advice I can give you for now. Others will chime in with much more useful advice.
Take very very good care of yourself!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017