I'm going to sound negative here again but how do you guild onto hope. Everything I read about this process apart from DR and maybe a couple of other things is negative. My friends, family and MC want to make me face up to the fact we are finished. I'm sure she is getting the same from her support. Seeing the pity in mutual friends eyes hurts hugely as I tell them what she said. I just want to tell them don't worry we're not finished yet, I'm working on it. Instead i have to put on a brave face, smile and relive the take from my side. She seems happier now than in our marriage and she looks to be totally emotionally divorced. Hence, why she won't deal with the money stuff, because that was then and her bright, shiny, work filled new world is now so much better than before that anything to do with that old world must be left untouched. For instance, when I'm away I'm certain she will bit stay here but would rather sleep anywhere else, because to stay here would be looking back. I can almost guarantee there won't be any physical contact next time we meet. So yes, I am letting fear control me a lot. I'm just really scared that I'll never fill the wife size hole which appeared in my life.
