Update -- So my husband and I were supposed to go to Paris next week and he vacillated back and forth about going and just decided in the last few days not to go. He also sent me an email last night saying that he would like to file for divorce jointly. I called him as soon as I read it crying. I really don't want a D. So much for the 37 rules and Chuck's advice not to react. We ended the conversation on the note that we would talk or whatever when I got back. H stopped by today to pay me some money he owes me that I needed for my trip and, of course, we talked about the sitch. Will I ever learn? He said that he still loves me deeply but that he is done. There is nobody else but he will not file for divorce while I am so emotional about it. At the end of the conversation, he gave me a big kiss and a hug, said ILY and "bye sweetie." I feel like a tool for being so needy and don't know why I am expected to file jointly to divorce a man who promised to never leave me before we were married and now has not articulated any reason except he doesn't feel like himself when he is around me. (We are both attorneys and there are no assets/debts between us so there is no need for other attorneys to be involved.) I also feel like a tool for pushing him further away. Why can't I learn to be cool, calm, and collected? So now I am off on a trip tomorrow, alone, but am hoping to have a good time anyway. This just hurts me to my core and I don't always know what to do. I wish the pain would stop but I don't want him to hurt anymore either. Can I get a witness (i.e., some words of solace and advice)? Thanks, peeps, I love you all.
