good signs, bad signs, or nothing at all

[confusedfather]

I have received very little advice from this board, but I am all ears. What can i do now to turn this around, without losing my sanity?

[labug]

Sorry you feel that way but looking back you've gotten quite a lot of advice.

Did you read other threads, get into the archives? I found a ton of advice there. It was pointed directly at me but it fit the issues I had and I applied it.

If you want a surefire fix, you won't find that here or anywhere. That's the cold, hard fact.

You change yourself and maybe the partner notices and likes what she sees. Sometimes it happens, often it doesn't but you are left with a better you.

[labug]

Stuff like this always helps:
Great advice

[confusedfather]

That definitely gives me something to think about. Thanks labug.

[MrBond]

You've actually gotten quite a bit of advice, but you seem to be stuck in the "depression" phase of your sitch. You "hear" but you don't "listen". See you have to get yourself back to hve the courage to do what must be done.

I know it's tough. I know you'd like to curl up and forget this nightmare is going on, but you need to reclaim your life. Not for your W, but for you and your kids.

[confusedfather]

I need fast advice so i hope the board is active. Tonight is first night W is at her new place and kids are staying there. S12 just called me and said he wants to come home. Should I get him or let W comfort him? After all, this is the way it is now. I just don't want him to be mad at me.

[labug]

Will she talk with you? I think you should decide how to handle this as his parents. so there's as little animosity as possible and he doesn't feel not listened to.

[confusedfather]

She has communicated very little with me through this last week when the major changes started happening. That had a lot to do with yesterdays reaction. I talked to him for quite a while in her driveway, and the little I did talk to her let me believe she wanted me to take him. I told him I would take home home tonight, but that he had to stay there tomorrow night. I am afraid he is going to constantly do this, which will create friction between me and wife. She definitely looked like she had her hands full with the younger 3 kids.

[confusedfather]

W just about has all of her stuff out of the house. The last two months have been so uncertain that it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I woke up this morning at peace and have really started to look toward the future. I believe at some point down the road W and I will have a chance to re-evaluate our relationship. But until that happens I am going to focus completely on myself and my kids. The anger is starting to ease and the excitement is starting to grow. W and I started dating at17 and married with first son at 19. I missed a big part of living that I now get a chance to do.

[confusedfather]

I am almost a full week since W moved out and I have to say I am doing pretty good. I think I have been able to detach because I don't find myself sitting around wondering what she is doing. I have been able to forgive myself for my faults by addressing them, and i have forgiven her for most of her faults on the M. Some wounds are too fresh for total forgiveness just yet but I am working on it. I have talked to W everyday because of the kids and they have been pleasant interactions. I have been working out and starting to get myself back into shape. I am set at bettering myself, so if she decides to come back I will be ready. If she doesn't come back then I will be ready for whatever life has in store for me.