Wife of 7-Years is Divorcing Me, but Yet Not pt. 9

[25yearsmlc]

PS

when I joined the Army (b/c if you can't beat 'em, join 'em) I was forced to go to JAG Corps school for 15 weeks. Fortunately we lived 3 hours away so I came home on weekends.

But during the week, talking to our 15 month old son made me cry every time. I tried not to, but it actually got a little easier to just NOT speak til I saw him. I'd be thrilled to hold him again but then on Sunday night, I'd cry again driving back to JAG School.

She'll ache for him. It will hurt. I don't know how she'll handle it but don't be shocked if she launches a new attack---

or drops out of sight until her visitations...2 other moms in my class just tuned it out or they would not have made it through. I recall our move to Texas, "in order for me to get out of the Army in an inexpensive place" where we could afford for me to stay home. Then the Gulf War/Stop Loss happened and there was no quitting.

So let's not judge women with a different measure. What MAN would give up his medical career to be geographically closer to his kid? Some would...but those who would not, would not be called lousy fathers. They'd be called "Dedicated doctors".

When I studied for the bar (the 2nd time) I had h take son out for 10 hours at a time or I would not be able to pass it. It was summer so h took 4 weeks off.

The first time I took the bar exam I failed it b/c he was so young I could not bear to leave him at a sitters and I kidded myself that I was "Studying enough".
It was the wise mature thing to do, not bad mothering.

It'll be very hard for your w. If you really want a good r with her (never mind more than that)

be gracious but guarded. Let them speak on a regular basis if she can handle it and tell her what's going on and send pics, etc. help her feel connected b/c it's good for him too. (Assuming she doesn't attack you again and don't act as if I'm being over dramatic. She DID attack you...legally and publicly).

After her first year she may be able to transfer or other things may take a turn.

Time reveals a lot. She'll be busy but away from you and from her family and son.

If that doesn't change her, not much will.