Swimming with certain Turtles

[zig]

oops i misunderstood who the irritating one is, i guess it's me

talk about irritating!! my brother and i have the WORST patterns- my mom says that when i can get through a conversation or interaction with him without it heading down to hell as it always does, then i will have grown completely (she also admits that she cannot do that, and that he is the challenging one)

so another of those insane conversations with him - but this time we calmed down, stayed on the phone, talked and even got to the point of him pointing out my dysfunctional pattern to me. which helped me to see some more within myself. but of course - he was perfect and the moment i tried to point out his pattern - things went to hell again!!

lesson learned - let whomever point out your pattern, say thank you for helping me see that and let it go at that.

i have a headache from that conversation!.

my brother is very good at sending out 2 x 4's - except he doesn't pad them in anything! it's the full on whack across the head as hard as you can, and about 10 of them in a row.and if that's not enough, here's a few more just in case you didn't get the message!!

vera -funnily he didn't notice my new confidence - in fact half the 2 x 4's were about get over yourself and stop being so unconfident and unworthy.

it did make me think - with certain people, that bring certain things up in you, you display certain parts of your character. i think my brother and h, bring out the side of me that is racked with anxiety and low self esteem. interesting - to realize that.

so maybe more came out of this conversation than i realized at the time.

my brother on the other hand, had a disastrous marriage for 2 years which ended disastrously and he's been a hermit ever since. he brings up the same emotions and reactions with all the members of our immediate family, not just me. so being successful in a r with him, is i think in some ways more of a challenge than with h. i haven't succeeded for 40 yrs!!

oh well - i'm going to let that go...

I don't want to be the irritating one any longer!!

zig