About the project - I am worried about it coming out okay. Perhaps it's that pessimistic attitude. No matter how many hurdles I successfully jump, I could always bungle it up on the last one, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed until it's really safely done.
It's my general preference for being pleasantly surprised rather than having my bubble burst. I need to look at that. It sounds perfectly reasonable when I say that, but P considers it a negative attitude and it sounds like you're hearing some Eeyore in there, too.
Good point about the busy inner dialog. Clearly more meditation is in order. And I need to remind myself of my calming, detaching mantras. I'm jealous of your sticky notes around the house. I have a housemate so I can't imagine doing that.
You mentioned the inner dialog as a defense. I'm definitely going to do more thinking about that. Initially, I'm wondering if some of this internal struggle is the conflict between wanting to set myself up to be pleasantly surprised (pessimism) and my desire(/need/desperation born of addiction!!!) for hope in the situation. Well, that will keep me busy while I'm tiling!
By the way, jumped a rather major hurdle yesterday when I figured out how to cut a piece of marble for the shampoo shelf. My friend who has every tool on the planet really does have every tool on the planet!
