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[JustStunned]

@BeingMe: She has not gotten what she wanted. I have not been erased from existence. This is her problem.

My problem is seeing pain ripple through my family. As an example Monday night I was at an impromptu gathering of the extended family. My family and SIL1’s family just met at her house. One of the nieces drank enough to lower inhibitions and she demanded the drama cease and the family return to the way it was, as if none of this ever happened.

Her demand was inappropriate and misplaced. I think she realizes that as she sent out a blanket text apologizing for her behavior.

There is nothing to be directly done here. They need to sort it out and find their way. It is painful to watch. I am managing to watch in contrast to what I could have been expected to do a few years ago.

@Val: XW has used a scapegoat most of her life. I don’t wish to use always, frequent is a better term.

I must thank you and BeingMe for posting what you did. I will rethink my actions and how I react to this aspect. It is a work in progress. I am a work in progress.

I am asking myself how much of this actually affects me. On some levels I am perfectly capable of walking away from some of the extended family. I chose to remain connected to the extended family. I do not impose myself, I am invited. I choose to accept the invitation. As this is my choice I need to accept there will be these moments. I chose to remain because from my perspective the benefits outweigh the costs.

I thought to continue posting these experiences here for several reasons
Journalizing like this aids me in venting.
Feedback keeps me honest and moving forward.
Perhaps someone else can benefit

I question if my continued posting places me as a victim on the triangle. My goal is to get off I need to evaluate my motivations again.

This weekend I liked the link for the drama triangle. My hope is doing so will spark some curiosity.
I also posted: “In an effort to protect self and stay out of the dance upon the triangle I have neglected some relationships. To all who have shown me kindness please accept this Thank You in a public forum.”
I will thank each person face to face as opportunity presents itself. I can make opportunities myself too, I am not imposing myself.

On a happier note; DIL and I are finding our stride. My S and DIL will stay with me until the first week in August. They have found an apartment about 2 miles west of where I live. I will help them move when the time comes. Last night I was asked to baby sit a sleeping child for a few hours while they went to a fireworks display with the cousins. I have changed diapers, feed, burped and put my granddaughter down for a nap a couple of times so far.