2tp Before I would have said to not help her with the pool.
Why ?
Because you would have jumped at the opportunity. Over analyzed it. Used it to get into a relationship talk. Over analyzed it. Back peddled.
But the real reason why.
It was because you asked a question that was really just validation. Because you were not sure of what to do. Something that before you would have decided within a split second. And you would have not been looking for something in return.
2TP.
You just discovered something that you lost. And your self-esteem grew. You are not perusing. You are doing the right and decent thing. No epic conversations. No going all puppy eyes. You were asked for help. So you will give it.
I hope when you are there you get to work. Instruct. Lead with coaching while she does the work.
Then leave. If anything else comes up to fix. Arrange another day in the near future.
Baby steps my friend.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Oh my goodness. It's amazing what you find on the Interweb ......
Here’s a fact: Bitterness caused by unforgiveness is a spiritual disease. If we or someone close to us had a physical disease we’d sit and talk and pray with them about it. We wouldn’t pray once and forget. We’d keep it in prayer and reach out to them for support. For some reason, we underestimate the negative impact of bitterness on our lives and don’t make it a priority in our daily spiritual routines.
Telling someone to forgive is a lot like telling them to eat their spinach. They intellectually know that it’s good for them and that it would probably benefit them somehow and in some way, but the bottom line is that it’s just not fun to do.
We tolerate our bitterness. We embrace it. We learn to cope with it. We fantasize about revenge.
Unforgiveness causes bitterness, which permeates our thoughts, feelings, and choices in a profoundly destructive way.
One of the best ways you can show someone your love is to help them receive and give the gift of forgiveness. It will set them free and help them engage fully in their relationship with God and others.
Ask yourself this ~ Have you honestly gotten to the place where you can truly forgive the other person for any hurt they have caused you?
True forgiveness, not the "just saying the words" kind ~ but the kind that comes from really letting go in our hearts, is what can set you free from the emotional ties that bind you to the other person. The other person most likely has moved on, while you are stuck reliving the past and unable to move forward.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Through this pain I'm finding friends I never thought I had. And the W better watch out because now I'm getting ticked off with this lot that she's determined to continue!
Getting home just now after a long day at work, I have had not one SMS, not one "deed" at home - dogs not fed BUT she's been here because the cigarettes have gone as has the Cadbury Cream Egg. The food lovingly cooked last night is untouched.
I've just been doing a GAL with a stack of mutual friends. No W there. So where the hell is she? Not at home, not with "bitch" female friend (yes she's back there in my list), not with new friends who I've been enjoying a long session drinking with. Where? No damn idea.
SO close to sending her a really snotty SMS wich I've avoided. But damn, this is becoming hard.
It may just be that she has an excuse but I JUST DON'T CARE at this point. I'm hurt as much as a human can be and about to just pull the damn plug and say LOT'S of things that I will regret.
On a downward spiral and don't have a damn clue what to do. Or if I actually WANT to
It's a couple of days of before the L's demand that I "subsidise" my W to the tune of R5.000 a month. Boy are they both going to be surprised after paying the bills and the W's debts to other people theres only R4,000 left ...... For the REST OF THE MONTH!!!!! Bollocks - I just dont care about sharing this.
And then I get the SMS last night - "found a dress" well whoop-dee-do. What the hell am I expected to do about it??????
Don't say anything that will come back to haunt you later. Like I said to you in the email, no you do not deserve this, however, look at it as a second chance to determine what it is you do deserve. Get mad, however, use the anger in a good, productive way. Allow it to fuel you into doing something you have wanted to do, use it to get some things done around the house, use it to take a long walk around the neighborhood, just don't use it for revenge.
As the lyrics to one of my all-time favorite songs goes ~ "This is your life, are you who you want to be?"
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Honey - you're my Saviour (more so than the Big Guy - but you do so much work for him :-)
Thanks for the input which is now on-board. I AM going to GAL and interact with others that my W may disapprove of but you know what? She must LIVE WITH IT. I'm faithful but damn well hurt and need a physical shoulder - and that's all - just the shoulder.
