This is not looking good! (Long post...)

[reachingHigher]

mab1, I really feel for you. My H has been out of the house 3 1/2 months and the FB thing was something that really messed me up. I had more than one night with only 1 hour of sleep because of it.

I didn't defriend him. And at this point I'm glad I didn't. I did ask a boundary with him that if he posted pics of him with girls he keep it off the main news feed so my family wouldn't see it. He has respected that.

I have had much angst over numerous friendships he extended on FB including a beautiful ex-Dallas cheerleader. And most of the women show "looking for men".

But now, it has all slowed down. He's not partying nearly as much and we actually use FB for flirty comments. I like that I connect with him regarding nieces and nephews activities and things like that. It's connection now, not snooping. And when we are face to face we share a lot. "did you see such and such posting?" and it sparks conversation.

This works for me.

But you have to let go of it affecting you so badly. It helped me to develop my profile and likes/interests so I wasn't feeding off of his. I became more interesting on FB to myself than he is to me.

I had to realize too, FB just lets us see what we wouldn't have seen 10 years ago. It doesn't mean more. Like my H said, it's shallow.

Don't worry about the neuroscientist friend thing. Got to get rid of that. Keep on trying to do the right things that people are suggesting. It's like riding a bike. You fall a lot at first, but don't give up. Eventually you'll become a great rider.