Hey Brit just catching up on your last few pages -
I think it's great that you sent him the message about S and that he responded positively. I completely agree that helping him feel not inadequate (double negative, sorry!) can only be a good thing in general and really it can only help your S if they end up having an improved relationship. And of course if you are half the person you sound like on here your S has a wonderful mother who is learning so much through this process to help him going forward. How lucky he is!!
As for the surprise with the train station I had a good chuckle. Good for you for refocusing on your expectations vs. reality. And it sounds like you had a lovely time with S on his birthday - hooray! I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling meek/timid around others and not feeling that way anymore because I feel EXACTLY the same way!! It's probably what I'm most thankful for in this process. I also know exactly the pangs about not having children. Over the past week I've been worrying that going forward I'm going to sound pathetically desperate when dating people. I need to not do that
And YAY for the giddy smile - keep it up!! ( I do believe I read somewhere that just the act of exercising your smile muscles by smiling can contribute to PMA - that can only be good for you and bring good things to you!)
