XYZ, would your wife agree to go to a sex counselor?
As a LONG-time SSM'er, I am also a skeptic. I've personally never seen the whole "if you work on changing yourself, the other will HAVE to change" thing work. In my experience (not just my own, but observing other SSMs), it's more like the old joke:
"My wife wants to have sex one a month, and I want to have it three times a week, and so we compromised: we have it once a month."
Which to us high-drive spouses, ain't so funny, lol.
People only make deep profound changes when confronted by crisis or fear-of-loss, in my opinion. Your wife simply isn't afraid of losing you. Only you can decide whether or not there is any teeth behind a stance of "I've decided that I will no longer live in a sexless marriage."
