from the WAS to being walked away on

[strongerthanever]

KD,

Deep introspection. I understand what you mean when you say you arent sure your W is someone you want to be married to anymore. Are you two still living together? It sounds like you are emotionaly done, yet still going through the motions. Shoving your emotions in your back pocket for the sake of keeping the fam together can't feel good and definatly screams of co-d behavior.

I am dealing with that myself. I dealt with an unbearable amount of pain in order to maintain my "family". I was unable to say no to unhealthy situations b/c of the guilt of breaking up my family and fear of being without him. Heck, I even let H and his then OW/OW daughter live in the basement of OUR home. So unhealthy. Not anymore though. I know it's ok to demand more, because I am worth more.

Such a battle, the fight to save something you so believe in -vs-pursuing your personal happiness.

OW is no longer in the picture, as I had suspected 2 weeks ago. Your suggestion is genuis. I know it's only a matter of time 'til he starts the "I would love for my family to still be together" texts. I will reply with "what are you willing to do for that to happen?". I don't think he realises that THIS is the moment to rise to the occasion. This is the moment where you stand and fight for your family-because my girls and I are worth fighting for.

No further communication since yesterday. This is how it ended...

H-everytime I see you I just want to hold you so tight

me-I have to be honest though, those times were hard for me. I would get my hopes up after days like that and then....you would just disapear again. I felt like I lost you all over again. That's why I didn't want to meet to switch the girls. It's easier for me to let you go if i don't have to see you.

H-I can understand that

That was it, no more texting. Wondering if I made him feel guilty? It's the truth though. Um hello, if you want your family so bad then stop going away. I think he's working through his issues right now and possibly mourning the loss of the R with OW.

If it is meant to be, it will be. I stay out of his head and just keep living my life. I'm proud to say that I realy am happy I know I'm a great woman and that with or without him, I'm going to live an amazing life.