CV I can't unring a bell. I can't tell you if I'd go back to the same marriage because the people who were in it don't exist anymore.

My marriage suffered because of how I responded to how H is. He might still be that way but I respond differently and so I feel and act differently, and so does H. There is no more 'same marriage as before.'

I thought like you, that my H was the problem. I thought, like you, that my kids were better off in the imperfect m we had than if I were to leave. I really couldn't imagine that my H would leave, so I thought the problems were mine to tolerate. I wished he would change, and I was waiting and hoping that he would change. After the bomb, only one thing really changed and that was my perception of him. All the growth and improvement came from that.

What do you hope to get from these forums?

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.