Have you ever given him the ultimatum, either you hear me and work with me or else I am leaving?
Yes, I have. He is absolutely, positively on board and willing to work on our R. He will "listen," sort of (everything is responded to with 'yes, but' or 'no, but'), and commit to all sorts of changes. He does this with me and/or with counselors.
He just doesn't follow through.
I've asked him if he remembers the promises he's made to me. He doesn't. He's not likely to keep a promise he doesn't remember.
