Feeling like a boomerang. Back again! ARG!!

[2thepoint]

I "fix" things each and every day. Dammit, dammit.

Mr Fixit is a problem for a lot of us LBSers. We spend so much time fixing things that it has the effect of invalidating the skills and ability of our spouses. Over time it erodes confidence, builds resentment and destroys relationships.

The next time you see something that needs to be fixed but can also be fixed by your W, stop yourself. Step back and give your W an opportunity to fix it herself. Don't even make a suggestion as that too is fixing. Just give her the opportunity to take charge and fix it herself.

Recently, I was observing some female friends roll up an air mattress and trying to stuff it into a sack. They were clearly struggling but I just sat and watched.... and it wasn't easy. My foot was tapping and I was fighting a strong urge to jump in and help. I waited until one of them asked for my help, then I jumped in and helped. One of the girls actually commented on my restraint, knowing that it is an area I struggle with.

Another example; we have a swimming pool at our house. Although I'm not living at the home, I've been maintaining the pool. One day I decided I wouldn't do that anymore. Guess what? The pool is now green with algae! I want so badly to go clean it up but I fight the urge.

Today, my W asked me how to clean the pool. So I will show her and then she can maintain it herself.

Work on those type of things with your W and see how things develop.