Not the way I wanted my life to end up. Kind of sad about that.
Acting as if your life is over is no way to live your life.
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I know it is not the DB way, but, I have to admit: I used to have a wonderful life. Now I am just living.
If you are able to breathe, then you have life in you that needs to be lived beyond merely existing. Don't you think it is time you take charge of your future and get things in gear and move forward instead of looking over your shoulder? You say you have left the door opened a crack. There is nothing wrong with that, but you've got to stop peeking through the crack to see what your Ex is doing, thinking, saying.
You seem to be holding on to the hope that your W will come back. She may very well do that some day but waiting and hoping and yet doing nothing else is no way to live. You have a lot to offer the world. Lets see what that looks like!
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Guess I have to get my sh*t together and move forward...again.
Make it happen. The world is your oyster. It really is!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
