Just spotted an empty container of DS-24 supplement on the bar counter. I was going to get her some multivitamins with D to counter the SAD that I think she has. And it's got vit D in them. Then , like I normally do, is find out about them to make sure it's not just quackery and I find that in order they're used for......
Brain Fog (that's the wife right there)
And
In pregnancy!!!!!
I'm not reading anything into this but it's the strangest thing that she's been to her gynecologist a short while ago and now these?
W just returned to find me still up! Met her at the car as normal - there's strange people out there!
W says sister says hi. W picked her up from AirPort (not an Apple airport) this morning. W is puzzled why the rest of the family isn't closing ranks against me! (Unlike last time)
Practiced my "lesson" - "I'm putting the kettle on. Can I make you something?" - thanks bug! Still got a no thank you I'll make my own chocolate - but it had a thank you in there!
iPhone went "ping". Facebook comment posted against a photo I'd just uploaded of our Jack Russel. W smiled. Showed her one more of the beautiful sunny day in Cape Town but with a huge fog bank over the Northern Suburbs - which my wife was under
Asked about he leg and if she'd like my slightly used hot water bottle. It's fine, I'll use the bean bag but thank you (again!!!)
Finally I mentioned the empty vitamin bottle and gave her our medical aid card. "Use this to buy some more". W says "but I thought you said we mustn't use it for everyday items just dental appointments and things like that". My reply "sod it - we have a day-to-day portion which we can use for anything and after last year we damn well will use it. Or we'll get to the end of this year, not use it and lose it". Result - puzzled look and another thank you. And she's going to buy some for me while she's at the pharmacy!
Up bright and early (not). So sleepy woke at 8:15. House is quiet as the W is asleep as well. Grab a quick bowl of breakfast and turn the kettle on.
Now I hear the morning cough from the spare bedroom. W has awoken.
Do my thing and just about to leave when the W shows her face. She's hurt. Legs killing her. Told her to take it easy try to have a good day and goodbye. I get a "you must have a good day" back. Hugh? Not a "rot in hell"?
It seems that my small changes to myself (with guidance - CB, Serenity - thanks both) is having an effect. How does that happen??????????
Now working my butt off making others happy and their computers
Can't help but wonder if the W will buy us both the vitamins. Time will tell.
And now back too it.
Have a great day, one and all.
Mac
<page break> same post - to save paper
Ah, home sweet home but sans the W
Made the bed - the one I can get to - mine (not ours at the moment) Surprising - the W has been tidying up including the main bedroom bathroom (funny - I did the same to the main one last night - thanks CB) yet more small changes.
Food on the menu tonight - lasagne enough for tonight, lunch tomorrow and the pooches get the rest tomorrow night. You think that's why they love me?
Niece just facebooked me asking what's wrong. Replied nothing I can't handle if I can have a little bit of forgiveness from "someone else". She's going to try to come on Saturday night with her boyfriend and finished with a hug and kisses. Phew I needed those!!!
This may get up the W's nose but I actually don't care! She'll just have to live with it!!
And a final Facebook message "be strong chat saturday tata"
Oh my goodness. It's amazing what you find on the Interweb ......
Here’s a fact: Bitterness caused by unforgiveness is a spiritual disease. If we or someone close to us had a physical disease we’d sit and talk and pray with them about it. We wouldn’t pray once and forget. We’d keep it in prayer and reach out to them for support. For some reason, we underestimate the negative impact of bitterness on our lives and don’t make it a priority in our daily spiritual routines.
Telling someone to forgive is a lot like telling them to eat their spinach. They intellectually know that it’s good for them and that it would probably benefit them somehow and in some way, but the bottom line is that it’s just not fun to do.
We tolerate our bitterness. We embrace it. We learn to cope with it. We fantasize about revenge.
Unforgiveness causes bitterness, which permeates our thoughts, feelings, and choices in a profoundly destructive way.
It’s not until I sat with my friend and said, “Let’s pray about this unforgiveness together.” We began to pray on a daily basis about it and we noticed he began to truly receive healing and peace in his heart and mind. Praying about unforgiveness is something that friends and family should be doing together.
One of the best ways you can show someone your love is to help them receive and give the gift of forgiveness. It will set them free and help them engage fully in their relationship with God and others.
I "fix" things each and every day. Dammit, dammit.
Mr Fixit is a problem for a lot of us LBSers. We spend so much time fixing things that it has the effect of invalidating the skills and ability of our spouses. Over time it erodes confidence, builds resentment and destroys relationships.
The next time you see something that needs to be fixed but can also be fixed by your W, stop yourself. Step back and give your W an opportunity to fix it herself. Don't even make a suggestion as that too is fixing. Just give her the opportunity to take charge and fix it herself.
Recently, I was observing some female friends roll up an air mattress and trying to stuff it into a sack. They were clearly struggling but I just sat and watched.... and it wasn't easy. My foot was tapping and I was fighting a strong urge to jump in and help. I waited until one of them asked for my help, then I jumped in and helped. One of the girls actually commented on my restraint, knowing that it is an area I struggle with.
Another example; we have a swimming pool at our house. Although I'm not living at the home, I've been maintaining the pool. One day I decided I wouldn't do that anymore. Guess what? The pool is now green with algae! I want so badly to go clean it up but I fight the urge.
Today, my W asked me how to clean the pool. So I will show her and then she can maintain it herself.
Work on those type of things with your W and see how things develop.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
