It may sound good to you because it doesn't require any hard work WITHIN yourself. Probably backfire on you in terms of motivating your W though, unless of course she's the type of woman who just wants power and control over you, getting you to behave in a way that suits her, and doesn't really respect you. (Some women are plenty okay with that though and maybe you're married to one. Frankly, I think Dr. Laura is probably one of these women.)
That's the problem with this approach though. It is very disrespectful to men. It leaves men dependent upon women and doesn't encourage personal growth in men. It's as though she thinks men aren't capable of this kind of growth. These men continue to remain in bondage. Dependency is hard to respect. Easy to manipulate and control, but hard to respect.
You want lasting change and motivated desire from your W regarding sex with you? Be independent, be responsible for your OWN self-respect. Behave responsibly and treat others respectfully because it is the right thing to do...period. Love yourself because you know you are worth loving not because you need someone to make you feel loved. Develop real self-esteem...the kind that shows up as quiet confident strength, not the swaggering, fake stuff. Don't expect or wait for her (or anyone else) to set all the conditions up around you so that it is easy for you to be this kind of a person. It's your responsibility to become this kind of person, no one else's. Be this kind of a person and it won't matter what the conditions are around you. I believe that both men and women are fully capable and responsible for becoming this kind of person.
That's the way my H is. That's why I was independently looking for ways to improve my sexual desire. He didn't need to send me links or shove books at me. I want to contribute to his happiness. He is a man I respect. He is a man who stands as a full and complete human being independent of me. He doesn't hold me responsible for his sense of well-being. He is with me because he loves me and respects me and it is a choice, not because he needs me.
Be that kind of person and she'll WANT to keep you in her life. She'll want to do whatever she can to jumpstart her desire. She'll want to contribute to your happiness because it gives her joy to do so, not just to keep you behaving like a good little puppy.
If you're trying to "make" her respect you or you think she just "ought" to respect you, you've started at the wrong end. It starts with you and has nothing to do with her.
