I want to thank each person who has responded on this board to my situation. I'm sure each of you has been in this position at one time or another which results in the helpful advice. The only thing I beg for is to not give up on your responses. Every day, I repeatedly check the site for answers. It is such a let down to not have helpful words or encouragement for long periods. So many times it stops the roller coaster ride, even if only for a few hours.
Like today, my range of emotions go from it's better to get away from that crazy, uncaring, selfish lady who will probably keep hurting me..... to..... I'm a person who has strong Christian principles and beliefs about divorce, who is thinking of the negative effects on our own kids and future grand kids. I see her as sick and feel like I would be abandoning her when she was sick. When she gets well, she will be able to see clearly and we can "work on" or fix things.
