P called a couple days later when she had more info about the winter gig. She had enough info that we could start thinking about some details: travel, vehicles, timing, etc.
She said she was just brainstorming ideas, but maybe we could drive down separately. She'd like to have two vehicles there so one of us (her) could take separate day trips and the other wouldn't be stranded. And we wouldn't have to be together 24/7.
She really wants to spend Christmas with her daughter (right near the winter gig and before it starts). She said it more than once and I did indicate that I heard her. There was no indication whether or not I was invited and I couldn't immediately think of a way to ask for clarification without injecting some awkwardness.
She had been planning on coming here to help with some projects in September. Now she has an offer of a bit of work. She'd like to, but she told them she's going to help her friend in September. Friend!
So, in the midst of discussing these hugely positive opportunities for engagement, my brain is hung up on all the little details of distancing. And I get that I'm hypersensitive to indicators of distance.
Pia says we have to celebrate the nos. And it's true. A big reason I'm here is that P spent a lot of time not paying attention to or asking for what she wants. So, I'm grateful when she's paying attention, discerning and verbalizing what she wants. So, instead of silently freaking out, I need to be more proactive about encouraging and validating.
I got over a significant hurdle in the bathroom project yesterday, so that felt good. I'd like to say that it's all downhill from here, but really it's just one hurdle after another.
