I texted H to say happy 4th and make a joke about celebrating independance from a country I now choose to live in. He said funny, I was just about to text you the same thing. I then said I think our last 4th in the states was in x town on vacation. Then I said no, what am I thinking we lived in X for a few years. I must be getting old. He said it's funny I think of that as our last too...and he started reminicing about that vacation together!!!!!!! So I kept it lighthearted and asked if he'd fixed the car He said that he had but he had to take the train to work today because he'd left the car there and he had to switch at my train station and was GOING TO SURPRISE ME! but mine was boarding and he missed me. I didn't mention that I don't take that train anymore I take a later one...instead I just reminded myself of the positive. He remembered the train time I used to take when we lived together. And he was thinking of me, going to surprise me, and text me about the 4th.
SHEESH!!!!!!!!! He asked me what his mum had gotten S for his birthday and I replied and said that I would see him tomorrow ending the convo. I took a page out of StubbornDyke's book in leaving him wanting a bit more.
I am still MANAGING my expectations. And I think what I took from this is sometimes our feelings don't reflect the reality of the sitch. I was feeling disconnected and a bit hopeless but in reality our interaction is still warm and friendly and fun.
I've also been thinking a lot about what Zig and KD have talking about in terms of all or nothing and being a martyr. I'm going to ask him for a favour tomorrow involving S. In the past he's told me I was being silly in not asking him to help and it's true I was being a victim in "I'm a single mom now...he doesn't help me with things, I must be independant" It would mean me not missing a day of work and I think he would enjoy it and S would too.
