Not having the best 24 hours but I know I'm not the only one. I guess H had been out of mind for so long it was bound to sneak up on me. I just kept thinking he is in a relationship. He's been living with her for a month. They have s regularly (maybe....that's an issue with him) he calls her sweetheart and holds her. He knows all her friends, spends time with her family, I don't know it's all so sudden and overwhelming. And it's strange that a man I felt I knew so well is shark g his life with someone else who he didn't even know until Feb.
I had a dream and in it I was doing all the usual blessing and begging. He'd sort of told me things were going bad between them two but then they were back together. His sis sided with me. I'm yelling at him saying he's making me look like a fool and what's funny is he's 16 in this dream a teenager. I don't know I woke up angry...trying to change that to gratitude.
I think I am coming to a place of acceptance that I've resisted for so long. It's over. He's in a relationship. There is no "fight" for him...everyday since I told him my feelings he's chosen her. She made him feel wanted and appreciated and I made him feel obligated and responsible. Part of me questions my motives since I've now come full circle in seeing his flaws and accepting the end, but I think I learned so much on the circle that I'm a different person.
I told Zig that the flirting is more light hearted happy friendship and I do want to develop that. I think that i'm not as scared of us NOT having a friendship anymore. Yesterday after of text exchange he commented on a photo on FB which is progress because he hasn't touched my FB post bomb. I do think he's always offered friendship and then I've had expectations and he's felt he had to "not lead me on" I am a person that usually thinks 3 steps ahead so I'm very proud of myself in changing this.
