I haven't read all your prior threads, but that text seems to shed some light on things. I had a buddy of mine who divorced 7-8 years ago that seems to mirror what he said here. In my buddy's case, they weren't happy, he had an affair, and she wanted to work it out. He came back an said, "something's missing....I had an affair for a reason. We can't just keep going." I always tell him that he got it half right. Yeah, he had an affair for a reason, but figuring out that reason and addressing it could have fixed his marriage...and his wife wanted to! I think he still wishes he could go back....and I wish he would have addressed the problems, because I think he still lives with them in his new marriage.
Some of it may be guilt...it certainly sounds like it. Forgiveness can be a huge gift, but you have to be willing to give it to yourself.
Hang in there....I'll echo what veroprado said....try to detach and GAL. You can do it!
