We will tell them together and i will never tell them this was their mothers idea. I am rethinking the custody agreement and think for the sake of the kids I am going to be a little more aggressive. She hasn't thought through any of the kids stuff, like supervision of them during the summer. I initially played nice, thinking agreeable would help me down the road if she changed her mind, but my kids are more important than my marriage. This is about to get ugly, but I think it is necessary.
M-31, W32 S12, S9, S8, D3 M 12 Years Bomb dropped: 4/30/12 ("I need to be happy") EA discovered: 5/8/12 W denied PA unsure Moved out 7/6/12
Tried to talk to her about the kids tonight. Turned into a big fight. I admit I made some comments I probably shouldn't have, but i feel more of a responsibility to the kids than her. I feel very strongly that she cannot just run out, knowing there is OM out there, and try to pull my kids into her fantasy, which will be their nightmare. I even made the comment that her decisions are all about her, with no consideration for the kids. I can't help but feel I slammed the door on our divorce, but i have to make sure the kids are a priority for at least one of us. We have never communicated well, and I tend to say what i think when I feel strongly about something.
M-31, W32 S12, S9, S8, D3 M 12 Years Bomb dropped: 4/30/12 ("I need to be happy") EA discovered: 5/8/12 W denied PA unsure Moved out 7/6/12
That was the hardest thing i have ever done. I will never forget the look on their faces. Right now my heart is full of sadness, sorrow, and anger. I will take a break from trying to fix this marriage. Right now i don't want to have anything to do with her. The cold heart that could do this...
M-31, W32 S12, S9, S8, D3 M 12 Years Bomb dropped: 4/30/12 ("I need to be happy") EA discovered: 5/8/12 W denied PA unsure Moved out 7/6/12
I stayed home with the kids today. They are talking about what the will take to the new house and seem excited. I know that is just kids adapting to change, but it still breaks my heart. I go to IC in the morning, and i am glad I rescheduled from the following Saturday. Right now my head is pretty messed up. I am not going to make any decisions or have any conversations of substance for the next 72 hours because I know they wouldn't be well thought out. Any advice on what i need to do in the immediate future? Not necessarily marriage-saving related but in general?
M-31, W32 S12, S9, S8, D3 M 12 Years Bomb dropped: 4/30/12 ("I need to be happy") EA discovered: 5/8/12 W denied PA unsure Moved out 7/6/12
I have decided that a future relationship with W is not something I want to pursue. I appreciate everyone's help and words of advice, and wish you all the best of luck.
M-31, W32 S12, S9, S8, D3 M 12 Years Bomb dropped: 4/30/12 ("I need to be happy") EA discovered: 5/8/12 W denied PA unsure Moved out 7/6/12
Sorry to hear that. You know, of course that you haven't been DBing this whole time. Have you ever thought that if you actually followed the advice, that things would be different?
What I see is that you've stayed in a depressed state of mind and are defeating yourself. You still have a chance to change things, but if you don't want to, then, good luck.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
