Thank RMC and livenlearn for your feedback. It really is appreciated. What I'm struggling with here is the question of whether my H's softening is the result of his having a small change of heart or if it is because he doesn't want to rock the boat right before filing for D. I don't know how to tell and I don't want to initiate any R talks.

Here's another question for anyone who has survived A. I spoke to a therapist and she said that my H can never be intimate with me as long as he carries the secret of A. I have never confronted him and I think A is over. She said that, in his mind, it would be easier to get a D than to tell me or admit anything. H can cause all kinds of problems to justify a D, but how does he justify A in his mind. She used this analogy: What if you knew a secret that would really hurt a friend that you were going to have lunch with? You have lunch but you don't tell her anything. Would you behave normally or would you hold back a little? Any thoughts from A survivors would be great!

Christine

Last edited by Michele; 01/23/04 05:04 PM.
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