Mac I will have to get caught up again on everything in your life. Serenity's 2x4's are always good.
You sure about that? The first bit, not the second to which I agree wholeheartedly. Serenity is the only person I know who can weald a bow & arrow AND have a bazooka strapped to her back "just in case". Not so hon?
Hey I must apologise for the delay in both reading and replying - it's the time difference thats a swine to deal with!
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You need to decide if you want to be validated for your lack of actions vs. us tossing some truth darts at you so you can get moving forward again.
Truth darts yes please - lack of actions SUCK. But I feel like I'm on the tightrope between action, which may pee the W off or lack of them with the same result. Dammit! I'm certainly being positive in my outlook. No moaning (maybe too strong a word - did I do that?). Putting more hours in at work although that is a strain on the system.
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I would recommend you go get some free council from a lawyer. Just so you know what you will need to do if you do need one.
Cb - there's no such thing as free advice in South Africa. It'll cost a grand which I suppose I'm going to have to find somewhere.
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How self centered did you get the past year?
Honestly? I was in a world of my own up until about three months ago - woozy as hell in the early days. Falling asleep at 2 in the afternoon. It was February when I actually felt the difference. And February when I was allowed to drive on my own again! Scary stuff!!! Something's knitting together in the cranium! I'm off to neuro next Tuesday for a long overdue EEG. But I actually do feel fine and dandy. The danger period when "something" may have happened was months ago. I'm looking forward to saying to the W that she's right - I AM FINE.
I'm beginning to think that this current crisis has got something to do with the strain of my accident and my reliance on the W - especially in the early days.
I really do feel the need to acknowledge she was right - Honey - I'M FINE!!!!
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What habits did you repeat from the first time around?
If anything, we both fell into the "nackered at the end of a working day" stage. It was NICE to fall onto the coach and reeellllaaaaxxxxx. We were both cooking together. Watching the odd tv series (the W's of coarse). The only thing we didn't do was go out on the town Bit difficult with someone who all of a sudden didn't drink and had to be driven round and with crutch's! The drinking bit is fixed (with LOT'S of moderation).
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But you know the rule. Do not say you have changed, will change, will not change.
Gotcha!
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Just live your life like you wished you should. And eventually it will become reality.
Gotcha BIG TIME!!!!
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She gave you a big 2x4 to stop with your crappy behavior. And it worked.
I really want her to know this as a fact and acknowledge it. I can only hope that she does know but is hanging me out with the washing until she is absolutely sure. She doesn't want to make "another" mistake. This may be HER last chance as well!!!!
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Crisis has caused you to start changing again. But do you realize that your wife has to cause crisis each time for you to listen to what she is saying. And this is the 2nd time in three years. Add in the accident and her wanting a family.
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You primary goals here should be to.
1. Stop repeating history. 2. Learn to listen and communicate. 3. Learn to be upbeat and confident. 4. Learn how to be nice and not clingy.
Oh boy. EVERYTHING from the first time around the block. That's bad news. But I can do it - just gotta make it stick!!!! I was so damn happy being happy. With myself, with my W and with everyone I met. What happened to that? Because it's definitely back now. I just get the felling that people are looking at me and asking themselves "what's his problem 'cos he's being very nice!"
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Your hot choc...
All you had to say was that your putting the kettle on and making tea. Can I get you something? No. Well goodnight. or Yes. Ok I will leave it on the counter for you. Goodnight.
Me bad.
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If you work it out this time. You two need to learn to communicate. As your system is not working.
No "if". It'll be a when - determination is something I'm full of. The problem is the after bit. I'm more than happy (wrong phrase but you know what I mean?) to work on it but WE should be working on "it. Which doesn't mean hopping off to a therapist but talking has to be in there somewhere. Something the W has a big problem with
Serenity - one thing - my W is a wonderful, caring and innocent (in big dollops). She hasn't got a cunning bone in her body. This sitch hasn't been bubbling away - it's been a huge shock to me (good) and to her best friend (surprising to both me and her friend). The pics are as you see them (check FB) - honest and longed for - tears on the way 'cos it hurts to look
Bit difficult with someone who all of a sudden didn't drink and had to be driven round and with crutch's! The drinking bit is fixed (with LOT'S of moderation).
