They do NG and you need one with the other I think...our sitches are quite heavy and there's a lot more in our life to laugh at and about. It's all about light and shade right?

S is turning 17 and I've been doing a lot of reflecting because he was born when I was 17. And I it was hard as a single mom, going to university, carving out a career, still being young, etc. I've been thinking so much about how it did "take a village" and I was lucky and blessed to have a support network. I came from a very poor background and all the stats were against me. Anyway, I texted H a picture of him and S (who he was a hands on stepfather with from the age of 9) and I said "Thanks for being such a great dad and helping me raise S. I owe you a lot. Can't believe he's 17."

Cheryl told me that it sounded like H felt like a failure. She said what if you were the one place that he could feel like a hero. And she said that I was doing the right thing by making him feel proud of his parenting of S.

His reply "Woman you're going to make me cry!" I lightened the mood about my spelling mistake and told him it was true and that it should be said. I also said that I hoped he had fun tonight.
He replied that he'd talked to S and that he'd be coming over on Thursday to see S and order his present together so S can pick it out the exact one he wants. He said that his car has broke down (roll my eyes) and that he won't be going to the event tonight bigger fish to fry(...oh get used to it GF) and that he would come by tonight but he would be tired, dirty, and in a bad mood.

Then he sent me a second text that said "And it was always more you than me. You have raised a very good guy. YOU should be very proud. (and I know you are)" I said thanks H.

It's typical of him to downplay compliments and to shift the spotlight off him but it needed to be said. After last night's thoughts on the bond you feel with someone after spending all that time together...I don't know my M aside this man helped me raise my child. He was a big part of that entire process and recognising that is important. Especially because one of his complaints was that I would put S ahead of him.

I don't know if it's part of making amends, but regardless of our outcome I will always appreciate him being a father to my son. (sheesh bring on the tears again!)