I'm a new person

[2chiquitos]

So what are you prepared to do if he continues to communicate w/ OW?

Go dark. I'm ready.

There is a vulnerable way to express yourself when you feel hurt or betrayed that tends to draw people closer to you, rather than push them away (like anger tends to).

I waited a couple of days before talking to her. I thought this would cool me down. I also wrote out what I was going to say, but I think I need to work smarter at this. Write down and EDIT!

This is some of the meanness that he is probably referring to and maybe doubts can be healed from or that would be different in a new R.

This is EXACTLY what he's referring to. He hates that I used him as a scapegoat. Today I did it to my friend (and him). I should go back to exercising... That did help with my anger AND al anon but attending mtgs regularly.

The best thing to do is validate him and accept him -- don't try to convince him otherwise in any way. Accept that it's how he feels.

I did do this well. I agreed with him. Told him that I am also scared of R, BUT I still want to try.