You don't have to make the choice to D your H at this time. And you don't have to live a life expecting to D him in 10 years.
You are frustrated in the moment. That's understandable.
Maybe it is because you feel the obligations of yourself. Obligations that you believe are coming from others...
Yet maybe... those feelings of obligations are really coming from inside you...
When we aren't at our best, it's time for a vacation. It's when we are refreshed and in peak performance... that's when we get value from pushing ourselves...