swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

For now, you are doing great.

thanks KD - it means a lot when you say that.

and yes - i am doing well- this kind of thing just a few weeks ago would have had me crying for hours, posting here like a maniac, etc etc

i managed to get myself into a good place before i got out of the car -which was pretty quick for me

about cake-eating- h makes a point NOT to cake-eat - to the extreme - very frustrating. he even considers enjoying any small time with us as cake-eating and gets himself out of it as soon as he realizes what he's doing.

so no worries on that score for now (a bit of underlying sarcasm there...)


This is depression talking. Standard, underlying current of MLC.

thanks for confirming that - i kind of knew it but wasn't sure.

Because they really do not know what they want.

i can see that too - the conversations are too much on both ends of the spectrum.


i knew what i was in for - certain patterns are exaggerated during this crisis. already on the first day after the bomb i told mil - what scares me the most is that h always stays very conflicted for long periods of time over every decision - and this is going to be a lot of back and forthing. he doesn't come to me with it, but i can see it in his demeanor

all par for the course...

i'm good now. thanks for walking me through this. i can see it as a positive but with no expectations. the positive i see is his movement towards making his life situation (whatever it is) more cohesive - not a positive towards him coming out of the crisis towards me (as in connecting those two). in spite of all, my love for him does include wanting the best for him, and it has been scary to watch how agonized and torn he has been keeping these two sitches in his life separated. i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and certainly not on a person that i love deeply

time to go meditate and fall asleep.

thanks again kd

(( ))
zig