swimming with turtles and some guidance

[zig]

went out with a couple of girlfriends for drinks. my sweet friend who supports me - told me on the way home, that h had talked to her last week (after our night together) .

she said that she sort of nudged him a bit into talking. she said she wasn't very good at remembering conversations so couldn't tell me exactly what he said - but he admitted that he was having a mid-life crisis and it started with buying the motor bike and he had wanted to ride across the country and think about things, but then went straight back there to where his old life and fun used to be and met ow right away.

i didn't react very well - got very emotional (so much for detachment, eh) and all i could see at first was oh [censored] now he's talking about it openly with my friends. she said that it wasn't as if he didn't know that she knew already

then she pointed out to me - that he was obviously working towards not compartmentalizing his life and even though he was still in this, he was trying to bring it all together in some way, and that she saw that as a good sign. that there was at least some shift in him towards becoming more whole as a person.

i said to her that since april when he came back from his long trip, i have watched him starting to reconnect with his family, and with s in ways i didn't expect - and that was good for him. i know that it has agonized him to be so distanced from his family, so disconnected since they are very close knit.

so i am better now, and feeling grounded again.

it was good to go out with her and another friend. tomorrow we are going to the movies to see 'marigold hotel' which i'm excited about.

i had a good day today - determined to focus away from h. did really well most of the day, though some of the conversation tonight was about our sitch.

i'm working hard to keep detaching - but have to admit that things i thought i'd let go of, are still affecting me, and i see how i have to keep working on it.

zig