You seem to be blaming everything on your wife and even call yourself the perfect husband. Do you really think that's the case? If so there is probably not much anyone here can help you with.
What did you do to contribute to the running of the household other than work a job outside the home?
How did you show your W you loved her?
How did you show your sons your love them? Maybe your son spending more time at someone else's house should be a wake-up call for you. Maybe it's not discipline he needs so much as love from his dad.
This is hard stuff and without being open to looking deep inside yourself and figuring out what you need to change, you will lose not only your marriage, but the R with your sons.
If you're done with the M, that's fine but you can never be done with your kids. They didn't ask to be put in the crappy situation, they deserve better.
What did you do to contribute to the running of the household other than work a job outside the home?
Maintain the house, yard and vehicles and the outside family tasks. I wasn't to good at anything else before(giving attention and discipline)
How did you show your W you loved her?
I thought before by, providing income and helping out around the house only.
How did you show your sons your love them? Maybe your son spending more time at someone else's house should be a wake-up call for you. Maybe it's not discipline he needs so much as love from his dad.
This is one that is going to take some time but S12 is starting to notice and is connecting more each week. This at least is showing signs of moving forward.
M44 / W43 Married 24 / Together 24.5 S12 S7 ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012 Counseling started 5-1-2012 Counseling ended 6-7-2012
I really had a good fourth. The morning started out fine and quiet with no plans other that I was online selling some of the hobby stuff. I clicked on a craiglist, strictly platonic OW and read a sitch that I could relate to. We linked up with a couple of emails and then texted for a couple of hours. OW had a sitch same to mine and she was a WAW who had a H similar to me and their problems were just starting. OW has had this planned for almost 4 years as she was unhappy, till about a month ago decided to leave. I helped OW out and told her about what her H is probably going thruogh. It was like looking at a mirror of the past 5 months for me and OW asked to have a meeting at a bar halfway between us. OW and I talked for 5-6 hours with a little flirting but most was a reality check for me as to what is going on in my W's head right now. I started to feel quite honestly hoplesss for my M as OW told me what its like to have that lack of intimacy and what women experience and work things out in their head with a plan. OW was a couple of years older than me and basicaly was a WAW for the exact reasons for what I've done with my W for about the same time frame. OW started to tell me things I need to do to please a W in a long type marriage, and stated quite a few times that I was sheltered and controlled and not a real man for marriage. She a couple of times comparred me to the 40 year old virgin, as I was not doing the right things a man should do. Well after that large amount of drinking and talking, we went to her APPT for some more talk and discussion about things I needed to do to please a W. It got into talk of oral pleasure for a man to give his women, and I admitted that I never had done that before. Well it got scary for me then as it turned into an actual instance of us getting intamate. OW showed me how to do things I've never done before. When it came to the actual intercourse to happen we both decided to stop there. We both agreed it wasn't the right thing to do, as we both where still only seperated. When I got home i think my W noticed the hickey on my neck when I was at the living room window watching the fireworks outside and I noticed W looking at me in a curious way in the reflection to my neck as she was on the couch watching tv. I'm not sure though if she noticed that or something else.
Did I really mess up?
M44 / W43 Married 24 / Together 24.5 S12 S7 ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012 Counseling started 5-1-2012 Counseling ended 6-7-2012
