I'm a new person

[2chiquitos]

How do YOU feel about being in a R/M where your H continues to have contact with a woman that he cheated on you with, walked out on you with, slept with and shared intimate moments with? Are you OK with that? Is that a boundary for you?

This is something I have been debating with since Sept. I continue to interact with him all the while knowing he is still talking to her. However now, in this past month, I have become increasingly impatient.

A faithful, committed and emotionally invested H will not worry about the feelings of an OW ahead of those of his W.

This hurt, a lot, but it's true.

For now, maybe you could find a non-threatening way to let him know that you would like him to cut off all contact with OW. All. AJ

I struggle with this without coming off harsh. Please give me examples.

Also, have you worked on how you listen to him and his needs? It seems that he needs that at this point. Without judgement. Just listening as somebody who cares. That's very hard considering, but it would make a world of difference. AJ

I have been tapping into his LLs really well, which is why i think he comes around more and continues to say he's confused.

you want him to know he left a woman of dignity and honor and strength,[/u] who held it together even in the face of adversity. And not a shrill shrew who will remind him of the reasons he left...
correct?[/color]

EXACTLY!!!

Constant struggle everyday, isn't it?

That's an understatement More like every second!

Seems to me neither you nor your husband is done with each other. Like you both just need to figure out how to come back together. AJ

This made me wanna cry, but yeah you're right and yeah I do need to freakin relax!

Today I did H a favor and took MIL to pick up her car. He really likes me doing these things for him, especially when it has to do with his mom. I also wanted to do it for his MIL since she has been wanting to do something together. We also went out to eat and visit a Hs cousin who just had a baby.

Speaking of appreciating. Hs cousin got married Feb 2011. Got pregnant Oct 2011. Her H died unexpectedly Dec 2011, a week before Xmas. Everyone is trying to be positive around her, but it's hard.

I've been very down because I need to talk to my cousin and ask her to please keep things to herself or at least don't tell my friends because it will get to me and I (nor my kids) can afford to go through this emotional roller coaster. This is hard since she takes things personally and enjoys gossiping...