[/quote]yes, smug is a good word. i love how adept you are at describing your feelings, Brit. [/quote] I almost put "bitchily" but that isn't really a word.
I have stopped using it A LOT. I think I was like Vera's H and Grace's W in that I posted non stop, photos of myself, photos of me and my friends, funny updates etc.
I still post funny things ie crazy press releases I get, and some photos but a part of me hated that H wouldn't have contact with me and then when he did say that he knew about this and this through FB.
not having him in my timeline has certainly helped for PMA.
For anychance
Quote:
do you harbor even the remotest possibility of R with your H? Or have you simply moved onto a completely different space, and he is a part of your history.
Yes I still have the remotest possibility. I honestly don't think there would ever be a time in my life that I didn't. But you can't draw parallels because he and I have switched. I might have acted like your W in the beginning. But the truth is when things started getting real with the coworker I was sort of seeing I didn't charge ahead with that relationship. (he cared about me but wanted to wait until I was on more solid footing. understandable he'd already separated, attempted reconcilliation, then proceeded on divorce with his exW in the past 2 years and I was 3 months separated when I met him)
I could have charged ahead. I could have blocked out H and the end of my marriage with the excitement of something new but something inside of me thought what if I've made a mistake. And because despite everything I am, I'm also traditional and romantic and wanted to be married forever, in love forever, but it was too little too late for H. He'd been sad and suffering and sitting idlely by while I lived a single life. And he wasn't going to come back on my timeline.
H started distancing himself. H moved in with his GF. So he's now the walk away if we want to call it that.
I begged and pleaded and said we should at least try it once. And he stuck to his guns and headed out the door.
He talked about the possibility of dating in the future but didn't stop seeing her. And the girl without baggage who hadn't hurt him became the more attractive route.
I hate the way I acted during our split, the way I treated him while he still lived at home. But I decided that no amount of beating myself up about it was going to take it away. I could only decide not to be that person anymore.
So do I see H as part of my history? I see my marriage as part of my history. I want H in my life. But it's up to him how that will be..as a friend or more. And I'm much more level headed about the whole thing. Whereas before I would have taken him back and bull-headedly thought we can make it work no matter what...now I see his faults, my faults, our pitfalls, his character flaws, and I also see things that I want in a R and I don't know if he can give it to me. He didn't the first time around...but then again we're not the same people as we were before.
So I would accept us never getting back together, I would accept us trying and it failing, I would accept us trying and succeeding, I would accept us as friends, I would be sad if we lost contact and sent one email every 3 years.....
But me and your xW are not in the same position. H wouldn't let me stay with him for 11 days! He's not in that I'll do anything for you mindset he was months ago. And I'm not living with someone! But I also was talking earlier about how H feels like home to me....and I've only known him for 7 years. So I can't imagine the bond that you develop over 22.
