but if you DO go this route, I'd strongly encourage you that all topics are open for conversation [b][i]except OW.[

Starsky, thank you so much for pointing this out. I do think that all talks about the OW should stop, regardless of him needing advice or whatnot, he can do that on his own-- I don't even want her mentioned around me to be honest, and it does put disrespect on me and our marriage.

I appreciate everyone's opinion, really I do, and I love that you offer it so willingly and without judgement on my part. I have been to other sites where I get put down or called a doormat for how I handle things, so in all honesty I really do appreciate the advice from you guys.

I think for now, I am going to set boundaries for myself. Such as not calling him, texting him, or pursuing him. If he reaches out to me for a phone call or for lunch or breakfast, I can decide if I am up for it or not, depends on what I want or how I am feeling that day. I think right now, I can't think of him as my husband, because its too hurtful, and as a friend, that can be a stretch, but its where I am at. I am setting weight loss goals for myself, and ordered a book called "You Can Heal Your Life"-- it probably has some daily affirmations, but I have got to get my confidence back and my self esteem, that's number one. I will also continue to read DR and see what situations fits my needs best. I have set the following boundary for my husband- that the OW is not welcome to come to our house or to meet our dogs, under no circumstances. I will also add the boundary to not speak about their relationship around me. I think for now this is a good start, and please of course, I offer any suggestions or points of view to help me along this stumbling path.

On a side note, I had a great day at work today. I work at a military non profit in Texas where we offer a free place to stay for combat wounded soldiers and their families. There is this guy that always makes me smile, and he is a triple amputee, 20 years old, always in such a good mood. You know, its hard to have a bad day with so many inspiring heroes around you.

Hope everyone else has a reason to smile today.

M-28
H-28
M-9 1/2 years
T- 12 years
PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)