Its a very confusing place to be, and I appreciate all the heartfelt advice... I think I can just be honest with him and tell him how I feel, but not too much... but getting it off my chest how his actions make me feel and how would he feel if the shoe were on the other foot... I know it may not register with him or get through to him.. but atleast I can say I gave it my all...
There is an old saying that "you can't teach an adulterer," and I've found it to be pretty much true. It's okay (and I think even good and proper) for you to say these things ONCE, and perhaps even put them in a letter to him just so you are "on record" so to speak, but you can't reach someone emotionally when they're infatuated with someone else. It's a basic physiological fact (just google "PEAs endorphines brain love lust" and do some basic research on the subject of brain endorphines, and their effect on people in affairs).
At best, I've found you can land little "truth darts" every now and again -- maybe 2-3x/week -- but that's about it. He's simply not going to listen to you "teaching" him in his current state, IMHO.
