My Husband has told me he wants to work on the marriage!
Last week, after the talk I had with him about not wanting to be a roommate and needing a husband (can read a few posts up above), I had another talk with him on tues. of last week. I had woke up that morning and I believe God put it into my mind, that I had to apologize for some awful bad behavior in the past. A couple of years into our marriage, having to do with my bad temper. At first I thought that would be giving him more reason to leave me to remind him, but then I went to church and I decided that I had to apologize regardless of any fears. So in the evening we were talking and I apologized and told him I regretted my behavior. He just said "its been a long road." Then we dropped it and just talked about general things but also I mentioned that I was going to be patient but if he didn't want to hang around me or if we couldn't have mutual respect towards one another,it wouldn't work for me.
I was praying pretty hard the next day, sometimes I feel compelled like there is a pressing reason even if I don't know what it is. That evening he gave me a kiss and brought home some wine when he came in. He asked me if I wanted a glass later with him and then left the house. I figured he walked to a nearby park to think, which he does sometimes. I also had a feeling he was going to talk to me about something. I felt calm and figured he wouldn't buy the wine if he was going to leave, but if he did I was going to be calm.
I was right, he did go to the park and we sat outside with the wine. He said, "I made a decision, I want to work on the marriage if you'll have me back" I told him that's why i'm still here and I cried. He also told me, (and I believe this was God's work) that the Sunday before, he saw me walking down the street as I was going to church (like I always do Sunday evenings for private prayer) and he said it was surreal all of a sudden, Like I was walking away and out of his life. He said he thought to himself that "this isnt right". He said it really affected him but he didn't say anything right away because he had to process it.
We ML for the first time since march. He was a little weird at the end,almost like a mood change or distracted, said he felt strange since it's been so long. The next night, we ml again (fist night my request, this night his). And he was a bit weird at the end again (started out good but I think some emotions goin on inside) but he was good with his decision to work on this.
So, I know we are not done and still have work to do. I have to say that what I credit is that God answered my prayers. I am catholic and I prayed the rosary every day. I have also been fasting once a week for about 36 hours. Got that idea from the bible and I heard it somewhere. My favorite story is about Esther who fasted before going to her husband the king,(because you didn't go before him without being summoned or you could be put to death)to plead for her people with whom Haman (evil guy) was going to have massacred. Love the story. Any way I am thanking God for answering this prayer. I am going to continue to ask the holy spirit to guide me and I am asking for my husband to love me deeply, like the king loved Esther (said he would give her unto 1/2 of his kingdom because he loved her so.)My husband has shown me more affection this past week and I pray for that to continue as well.
I am also so very, very, grateful for this website which helps so many, and for all those who have given wise advice. I will still need it. God bless you all!
