My MC was basically advising me to go dark for my own happiness today. Is it a good idea? I don't know but I'll try it and find out.
I think it's a great idea. How else will your W have the ability to "miss" you? No one can deny that the two of you have a lot of history together. For one person to walk away from all of that in an instant is a really hard thing to do. Give her space. Let her do the personal reflection she needs without you hovering over her shoulder and making sure she's choosing the direction YOU want.
This is so important for you to understand because it really is the only way for your W to start to see you in a different light. Make interactions, when you do see her, light and happy. I promise you, you will feel the difference between the two of you. And when you do it and walk away... pat yourself on the back and say, "I can do this!"
Sometimes being the first one to leave and end a conversation is hard but it really starts to put the ball in your court. You can start to take control of your life and not make it revolve around your W. It's a very empowering feeling.
We all understand how you're feeling and we all have had these moments of obsession about our spouse. But the reason we tell you to focus on you is because it WORKS!!! I gained a lot of inspiration by reading different threads here to see what was working for everyone else. And it pretty much is the same thing that I'm telling you.
Don't fight it... embrace it. It feels weird at first and takes some getting used to but that is all part of the process.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
